In long-distance running in the workplace, some people choose to climb step by step, while others bravely press the pause button to explore more possibilities in life. The author of this article has worked at Ant Group for 11 years and has experienced three naked resignations and gap years, each of which is an in-depth exploration of self-awareness and life direction.
Guys, I ran away from the ants again, and with a combination of naked words + gap. The resignation mentioned in April, 6.20 was the last day in Shanghai, and this week I have been lying at my parents’ house in Ningbo for several days.
6.18 passionately played some words in the middle of the night, and 6.19 struggled with whether to send a resignation post on the intranet, and was afraid that there would be too much text drama in his writing, but after thinking about it, the face was the most useless thing, so there was a following.
~~~~ The following is the original text I posted on the Ant intranet on 6.19~~~~
Note: The full text is an ENTP in ants (twists and turns) self-exploration and growth thinking, very personal and I don’t know how much resonance, after writing it, I hesitated to post it for a while, but after thinking about it, the skin should not be too thin.
The previous paragraph was 819 days, 2017.6-2019.9, Hangzhou
This period of 1324 days, 2021.11-2025.6.30, Shanghai
A total of 2,143 days, nearly 6 years, half of my career was spent here, and it was here that I sprouted the thinking of life issues and accumulated the courage to try.
I have to say that living life is the same as making a product, planning the direction of the stage – clarifying the stage strategy – landing stage plan – release and launch – good feedback – improving efficiency – bad feedback – analyzing whether there are any problems with the plan/strategy/direction – proposing a new plan and then iterating (marinated by MVP).
In terms of results and process experience, it is the same as other products, some products want to be bigger and stronger, and it is best for users all over the world to praise you, while some products just want to cover specific users according to their original intentions.
Of course, no matter which one,There is no boss or partner in this product of life, the person in charge + executor + the blame man is all by himself, and the product is also himself.
27 years old: Life issues are sprouting
I was 27 years old when I first left Ant in 2019. At this time, Ant did a good job and got a good income, and the economic foundation determined the superstructure (here we must thank Ant for his strong support), so a metaphysical problem began to emerge:
What kind of person do I want to be?
To achieve these three challenges, product managers will only continue to appreciate
Good product managers are very scarce, and product managers who understand users, business, and data are still in demand when they go out of the Internet. On the contrary, if you only do simple communication, inefficient execution, and shallow thinking, I am afraid that you will not be able to go through the torrent of the next 3-5 years.
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To be honest, I spent a lot of time at work before the age of 27 (because I thought it was really fun, it’s over, and I really have to thank the ants, but this makes me look like a dog), and I have no clue about this abstract problem that requires mental space, but I know that since it has emerged, it is the quantitative change that has caused a certain qualitative change.
Introduce variables without answers, experiment and discover yourself in them。 After considering a variety of serious variables such as changing business/position/industry to increase career richness, domestic certification/non-comprehensive field expertise, and studying abroad to improve soft power, it seemed that none of them were enough to help find the answer, so I chose to leave and start to do something unorthodox.
First of all, unscrupulous pure play in the country without any restrictions,I want to see what I can play without serious distractions, and what kind of self I can meet.Starting from Hangzhou, I went all the way to Qufu – Tai’an – Xi’an – Dunhuang – Jiuquan – Urumqi – Tacheng – Altay – Sailimu Lake – Bayinbrook – Ili – Karamay – Kashgar – Ta County – Guangzhou – Yangjiang, and finally returned to home in Ningbo, a total of 47 days (the staying power is worrying).
The first month was really cool, and the second month began to feel that it was not so fun, and the joy of pure play was not enough to satisfy me, so I couldn’t help but start to think about what my serious business was. In addition to being disenchanted by travel, the biggest inputs to this gap are:I have to accept that I am a person who can’t just play, needs to do valuable things, and can’t be idle, but I’m not sure if I have to make a lot of money.(What kind of gene is this that Zhejiang people can’t be idle) (Of course, I can’t be a travel blogger, damn it)
All rightThen I still have to accept my true selfSince you don’t know any other way for the time being, choose to continue to work first. Before coming to Ant, I was an A-share product manager, and after coming to Ant, I did stock/Yuebao operations, so I have to switch next, not only understand Internet skills, but also become an industry expert. (Laughing to death, I still walked the first of the serious variables above, and I had to hit the south wall to know)
29 years old: Exploration of life topics
When it comes to public funds, it is true that everything is very different, different strategic planning, different business rhythms and focuses, different positions in the ecosystem, different ways to play, etc., very interesting, there are new inputs every day, and because the market happens to be good and superimposed on personal ability (shameless), the annual income at the age of 30 reached the “small goal” that he had preset in advance, so the question at the age of 27 appeared again: What kind of person do I want to be?
What is the next small goal?Do I want to continue to make more money, and how much is enough? Do I want to make financial investment trading my long-term passionate career?
After thinking about it for a long time, I found that I did not have a deep understanding of how much money I needed to be free, and I didn’t seem to have a long-term career.I always feel that there are other possibilities in life, and I don’t want to limit too much.So, CFA, AFP, FMBA, etc. are not within my variables for the time being. Well, the familiar script appeared, I left again, and went to the gap to engage in non-seriousness.
I spent most of this gap in the community library, which was very “literary” and even a bit like loading. From the history of modern design in the world, art history to European history and American history to horizontal Chinese history, from MBTI to Jungian eight dimensions, from the exploration and experience of Christianity to the first acquaintance with Buddhism and Taoism, you can learn whatever you are interested in, and knowledge is as extensible and beautiful as an infinite spider web. Life is also simple and smooth: go to the library to report after eating at home, and occasionally go to the gym to exercise. thereuponI found that I naturally lived the days I liked, spent very little, did not deliberately save money, but had low material desires.
Professor Wang Shouzhi’s passage on the history of modern design reminds me of what I remember now:A responsible designer is a complete designer, a designer who can only play with form, is a half-person, is an incomplete person, I hope that all students who are doing it will be a designer with a sense of meaning and responsibility to society in the future.Of course, the “designer” in this passage can be replaced with any position.
This passage touched me very much, I think I am a responsible and complete person, and I also want to be meaningful to society. The second gap was actually broken by my former HR, and on the 87th day of my gap, she called me and asked me if I wanted to do investment advisory business. At that time, I was in a state of mind where I began to feel that “pure learning is very happy and does not seem to be enough, and it would be better if I could apply what I have learned”, so I went to talk. Finally, after the second gap lasted 116 days, I went back to work. (Laugh to death, why is this woman so good at catching people, is this HR superpower?) ）
Think back,The success of this gap is that I have made it clear that I am not materialistic and that I will take the initiative to go deeper.The unsuccessful part is that in order to solve the problem of applying what I have learned, I went directly to work, in fact, I think it would be very good to explore the learning process and results into an account in the later stage of GAP. (But this may be growth, after a few years I feel that I was a fool before, which is good)
30-33 years old: Does work life need balance?
To be honest, the investment advisory business is not easy to do, in the form of an independent company, if you leave the traffic of ants, what kind of differentiation can the business make to win the hearts of a large number of users? Although it is not easy to do, tell yourself that the mentality cannot be like before, and 1-n should be cultivated slowly. But with the gradual development of the business,I gradually discovered my own problem: I seemed to be living my life before I was 30 years old again.
That’s not good, there have to be variables.I thought I could try to adjust, so in 2023, in addition to work, I spent a lot of time practicing (I rode nearly 8,000 kilometers in half a year), expanding my life anchor point and relatively long-term hobbies, and also because of cycling, I bought a four-wheeled bike, in order to take the two-wheeler to the surrounding mountains to ride, it is more convenient to participate in the competition, and I can also mix a subsistence allowance in amateur competitions. After half a year, I found out that something was wrong again. It does solve the lack of hobbies, but the serious matter on the other side of the balance is still not solved.
In fact, I belong to the kind of person who will dive into something he is interested in, strong and passionate, and it seems boring to press himself slowly, is this another form of inability to accept myself?
Especially after the second gap experience, I began to think:Can the deposit go to the beggar version of FIRE, do I still have to work for a similar nature?I also began to realize that if I didn’t work, it didn’t seem to need any balance, and if I liked it, I would do it, and if I didn’t like it, I would change to what I liked and continue to do it. It has been internal friction for a long time, but I have to admit that I don’t want to fight anymore. It’s not that this job is bad, but that no matter how good this job is, it has to take up my precious 10 hours.
33 years old: It’s late, but it’s finally here
I think the third gap came too late, and what the second gap could have tried as early as the age of 29 has to be done now. But just like making products, it is normal to make decisions that cannot be right, and there are always mistakes.
This process also gave me a deeper understanding of problem solving:Cowardly people like to solve problems in a winding way, but they are actually avoiding problems. But the problems that have not been solved now will only reappear in the future in a way with greater sunk costs, and at that time, it is easy to ride a tiger. However, as long as you can face yourself authentically, everything is fine.
All the way to the age of 33, it is above average, but it is definitely not very successful in the secular sense. The various explorations in the middle consume a lot of time, energy and worldly results.
But I think it’s similar to playing a game, everyone’s purpose is different.Originally, I thought life was an online game, everyone played and compared together, but now I feel that life is more like a stand-alone game, the essence is that you play by yourself and compare with yourself.
Some small plans for the following
1. About settlement
In the process of thinking about the changes, I calculated a very detailed account and compared Shanghai, Hangzhou and Ningbo. As a result, whether from the perspective of rational judgment or emotional tendencies, Shanghai will no longer be the city I choose to settle in, mainly because the loss of housing prices in Shanghai to youth is so good that it is directly mentally sluggish (starting from 800w). Actually, I don’t plan to buy a house (the economic cycle hasn’t arrived yet, wait), but it’s hard for me to accept the potential grievances (just can’t stand it) of losing my freedom after taking out a loan.
Next, I will try to settle and work in Ningbo where I have a family, and if it goes well, I will enter the next stage, add new variables, and start the attempt of sojourn.
2. About life
2.1 I want to pick up the summary that I have interrupted for a long time, I really love to write summaries in the first 5 years of graduation, and I have uploaded a lot of summary reviews on the Alibaba learning platform (until recently, I could still receive Alibaba friends after reading the content).
When I first graduated, my master who took me once told me that “the process of writing to others is a good exercise of thinking, and the comments of others after reading it are a good way to learn from others”, I think that maybe these 10 years of work and life experience can be accumulated into a growth manual, mainly to please yourself, and secondly, if you can get some money, it will be better.
2.2 My friends around me like to talk to me about specific performance achievement/environmental landing and abstract work and life choices, maybe because I have more experience, more ideas, and more rational, and I am a person with positive vitality (starting to praise myself), and the general feedback is that I will be a good lifecoach, so maybe I can start exploring from here, be a coach, and welcome friends in need to try. (Started taking business, laughed to death)
2.3 As for the hobby of cycling, ride well in the second half of the year and strive to return to 3.75w/kg. In addition, it should be interesting to find a bike shop/club or a part-time team leader/sales related to the outdoors. (Bicycle shop owner, look at me!) ）
Of course, the above is not in a hurry to unfold, I plan to drive and play first, I want to go to Suchao to watch the game, I want to go to Henan to see the change of dynasties, and I want to go to Shanxi to see the ancient buildings. Maybe will take her nephew on summer vacation, and maybe this summer, I will first be the coolest aunt in the child’s mouth.
Finally, see that you are a cow, the number of words in this article is 4000+
